do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm like, not good at living.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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