I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me + whiskey = a bad person
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
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