I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
