Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
