PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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