Umm I'm too high to move.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
