Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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