Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
