we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Randomize
