Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
