Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
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he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
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Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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