Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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