Quick, to the slutcave!
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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