She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
