can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
