Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
