I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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