Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I look excited, but its just a facade.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
