Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
i've created a new STD.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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