Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
