Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
