glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
