i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
