Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
