I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
