what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
you had me at cake vodka
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
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