she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize