I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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