I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I forgot how hot balto sounded
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I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
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there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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