What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
