So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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