i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
i now understand why vodka
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Randomize
