How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
