Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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