New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
