OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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