NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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