"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
