Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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