Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize