It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
