I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
