I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I love having hate sex.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
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Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
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then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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