just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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