there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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