dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
