Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
