I will die if light touches me.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
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