some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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