apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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