I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize