she woke up with a sticky ear
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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