At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I showed him my bush... on skype.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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