So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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