i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
