I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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