Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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