her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
