And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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