so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
