not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
