But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
God, I missed his penis.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
