You're so nebulous sometimes
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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