Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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