just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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