Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize