someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
