i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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