3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
someone owes me an orgasm
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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