Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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