dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
