theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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