she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
