Well apparently he's into motor boating.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
