Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
